


shadow of the day

by Arbryna



Category: Lost Girl
Genre: Angst, F/F, Feelings, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-09
Updated: 2013-04-09
Packaged: 2017-12-07 23:31:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/754380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arbryna/pseuds/Arbryna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Season 3, Bo and Tamsin have a little chat.</p>
            </blockquote>





	shadow of the day

When Bo finally walks through the front door of her place after what feels like years, the only thing that’s on her mind is a long, hot bubble bath followed by a graceless collapse onto her bed. If Kenzi will let her, she plans to sleep for at least a week before she has to wake up and deal with everything that’s happened in the past few days. 

The last thing she expects is to find a familiar blonde figure wandering around her kitchen. 

“If you’re looking for booze, I haven’t had a chance to restock after your last visit,” Bo says, tossing her keys on the island then slumping against it. She _so_ doesn’t have the energy to play Tamsin’s games right now. 

When Tamsin turns, however, she looks more sober than Bo has seen her in weeks, and games seem to be the last thing on her mind. “Just thought I’d stop by on my way out of town.”

“You’re leaving.” The realization hits Bo like a blow to the gut. It feels like all of the air has been sucked out of her lungs, like the bottom of her stomach is falling out. 

“Figured it was best.” Tamsin shrugs, leaning back against the sink and folding her arms over her chest. 

“Why?” Bo asks feebly. There are countless reasons; she could list them, if this dull panic wasn’t pounding in her throat.

Tamsin scoffs, like every single one of those reasons is running through her own head. “What, have I not caused enough trouble for you?” She pushes away from the counter, sauntering toward the living area. “Thought you’d be glad to see the back of me. And not just because I have a nice ass,” she tosses over her shoulder before plopping down on the couch.

Bo follows, swallowing to moisten her throat, which has mysteriously gone dry. “You could stay,” she suggests, barely more than a breath. She sinks down onto the opposite arm of the couch, wondering when Tamsin’s presence started to mean so much to her. 

“That’s not a good idea,” Tamsin says with a dark chuckle. She watches her fingers pick at the fraying upholstery, doing everything she can to avoid Bo’s gaze. 

It would be pointless to ask why; the answer is written all over Tamsin’s face, for all that she tries to hide it. Bo’s wondered more than once about Tamsin’s feelings for her, but after that scene in her bathtub it all became pretty clear. She remembers vividly the certainty she’d felt that Tamsin was going to kiss her—and she remembers how badly she wanted it to happen. She’s still not sure what her feelings are, exactly, but she knows there’s something there. 

“What if I want you to?” The question spills out of Bo’s mouth before she can think about how presumptuous it is—how potentially cruel. Tamsin’s head jerks up, eyes wide and lips parted in disbelief. She looks like Bo just slapped her, yet there’s a tiny glimmering spark of hope in her eyes. Bo wants to nurture that spark, to help it grow, to show Tamsin there’s more to life than loneliness and death and pain—but she can’t promise something she’s not ready to give. Sliding down onto the couch proper, Bo shifts close enough to put a tentative hand over the other woman’s. “Tamsin, I am still really screwed up about everything,” she says honestly. “When I started things with Lauren, I was in it for the long haul. I have to deal with the fact that it didn’t happen that way. Not to mention all that stuff with my parents, and with the fae, and the humans, and the Dawning…” she trails off, laughing a little to herself. “I am a serious mess right now.”

Tamsin pulls her hand away, holds it up as she shakes her head. “Hey, I get it, Hotpants. No worries. You don’t owe me an explanation.”

“But I want to give you one,” Bo replies, catching Tamsin’s hand again in her own and squeezing it gently. “No matter what you may think, I do care about you—and I’m not the only one.” 

For a moment, it looks like Tamsin is desperate to believe her. Then her expression hardens, and she pulls away once more. “Whatever,” she scoffs, getting ready to stand. “I don’t need your pity.” 

Before Tamsin can escape, Bo tugs her back down. Her palm fits smooth against Tamsin’s jaw as she moves closer, putting everything she can’t say into the gentle brush of her lips. The kiss is sweet, lingering; it isn’t about feeding, or sex, it’s about whatever this is between them and what it could become. Tamsin responds cautiously, as though she’s afraid she’ll open her eyes and Bo will be gone. Her fingers tremble against Bo’s waist. 

“It’s not pity,” Bo says softly when the kiss ends. She’s not ready to call it love, not yet, but she knows what it’s not. 

It takes a few seconds for Tamsin to recover, to slide back into her casual detachment, but when she does, it’s almost like they’re back at square one. “So what, you want me to stay and be your twenty-four hour all you can eat buffet?” She pauses a moment to consider it, then shrugs. “Actually, I could probably be down for that.” 

Bo shakes her head. “No.” Hurt flashes across Tamsin’s face, and Bo lays a hand on her knee. She wants Tamsin to understand. “I can’t just keep you on standby so I can have a regular feed. That’s not fair to you.”

Tamsin raises her eyebrows. “Uh, last I checked, it wasn’t exactly a win-lose,” she points out with a smirk. “I’d get plenty out of it.”

“But it would mean more to you than just a feed.” It’s not a question; it doesn’t need to be. Tamsin scoffs, but whatever denial might be on the tip of her tongue never makes it past her lips. “And if I’m honest, it would be more than that to me too.”

That spark of hope is back in Tamsin’s eyes, along with an almost desperate fear. “You’re gonna have to be a little clearer than that, sweetie.” Her voice is harsh, sarcastic, but Bo can hear the undercurrent of vulnerability. 

Squeezing Tamsin’s knee, Bo closes her eyes and breathes once, twice before continuing. “I’m not ready to jump into anything right now,” she says apologetically. “I need time. But I’d like it if you stuck around for a while.” 

Tamsin sighs, and for a second it looks like she wants to say no. Then she shrugs. “I guess I don’t need to head out right away,” she says, like she’s doing Bo a huge favor. 

Bo smiles, because she is. From what little Bo knows about Tamsin’s past, she knows this can’t be easy. “Good.”

“Well,” Tamsin says, patting Bo’s hand still resting on her knee, “I’d better get started on apartment hunting. Now that my truck’s history, I gotta find a new place to sleep.” 

This time when Tamsin stands, Bo lets her. “If you need anything, let me know,” she offers. “Kenzi’s got some impressive connections, and I know Dyson would be glad to help out.”

“Will do.” The smile that pulls at the corners of Tamsin’s mouth is fragile, almost hopeful. She makes it a few steps toward the door before she whirls around. “And Bo? If you get hurt, or have some kind of feeding emergency…just call. Don’t be so stupidly noble that you get yourself into deeper trouble because you don’t want to hurt my precious little feelings.” She rolls her eyes, but the look on her face is dead serious. “It…would hurt more if something happened to you,” she forces out. 

Emotion swells in Bo’s throat; she knows how much it must have taken for Tamsin to say that without the benefit of alcohol. “Deal,” she says, smiling softly as she meets Tamsin’s gaze. Time slows down for a moment or two before Tamsin shakes her head and breaks the eye contact. 

Bo watches Tamsin turn once again and lift her hand in a casual wave as she heads out the door. She’s won many battles in recent weeks, but somehow getting Tamsin to stay feels like the biggest one. Her bathtub and bed are waiting for her upstairs; suddenly they both seem less appealing in her mind, too large and empty for just her alone. 

Shaking her head, Bo smiles to herself as she pushes off of the couch and heads upstairs. There will be time for company later.


End file.
